Ask the Admissions Consultant: “Do you have Tips for Writing my Personal Statement?”

Question: Do you have tips for writing my personal statement?

Answer: Of course! Guess how long it takes for an admissions officer to spot a good personal statement? About five seconds. All he or she has to do is read the first paragraph, scan the rest and then decide whether or not to read the entire thing. The trick is to lure your reader in immediately.

Writing the personal statement is probably unlike any other essay you’ve written before. It is neither an expository essay nor a journal entry. It is expected to read more along the lines of creative non-fiction, a hybrid between personal and expository writing.

Here are some tips for creating not only a promising, but a winning essay that will impress enough to make its way to the acceptance pile.

1. Begin your essay with a captivating anecdote. In other words, create scenes that “show.” The more you can present your stories, insights, interests and accomplishments in the form of a detailed, vivid and concrete anecdote, the more you will keep the attention of your reader. Connection is key! Here is an example of good anecdotal writing:

The crowd grows silent as I approach the 18th red tee box. After envisioning my ball flying pin high toward the white flag, I make mental notes on navigating toward the 170-yard par 3 hole. Arms loose and mind focused, I position the 4 iron over my shoulder. Then, once I release all tension and thrust my hands forward, I know I’ve hit the “sweet spot.” I make that birdie putt and hear the announcer declare, “Michelle Wie has just won yet another Invitational!” Nothing like the taste of triumph.

“Keep your hands forward at impact.” Huh? I come back to reality when Mike, my coach, scolds me. We have been training for five hours on my irons….

The author of this essay narrates her experience in learning and competing in golf, but she also interweaves reflections about life lessons she has gained from playing this particlar sport.

2. Make sure your reader learns something from your essay. Before working with this student, for example, I did not know that the game of golf could lend insight into the notions of perseverence, keen judgment and responsibility. I certainly had no idea what the connections were. This author showed me, however, that in learning the intricacies of the game, one must “persevere in the midst of ever-changing variables, have a precise ‘game plan’ and take responsibility for triumphs and mistakes.” She then linked these lessons to her aspirations to become a businessperson. This student was accepted to her choice school.

3. Write about your engagement in the world (this could be through action and/or reflection). I tell my students that the essay is not so much about them as about their relation to the world. The success of an application essay stems not so much from the “I” as from the “eye.” Show your reader what you see. Successful essays take personal, academic, professional or civic experiences and move them into the larger world. Universities look for interesting people who are engaged with and care about the world and/or have special talents.

For example:
• Measuring trees in the Rainforest to contribute to sustainable forestry
• Volunteering in rural China for an organization that donates surgery to babies with cleft palates
• Initiating an organization or event
• Flying a plane for the first time
• Participating in an Air Force flight simulation program

4. Use the present tense when writing anecdotes.

5. Make your experiences interesting when writing about them. Arouse intrigue. If you do not have a lot of such experiences – not everyone has these opportunities - you can compensate by reading and presenting yourself as a bit of an expert in your field of interest through interesting reflection.

6. Write in small paragraphs, single spaced (try for no more than 7 lines or so). Think about the first and last lines of paragraphs. Use them as teasers to invite the reader in, provide information the reader needs and draw attention to a particular facet of the experience, reflection, etc. Readers these days skim and skip – it is your job to attract their attention and motivate them to keep reading.

7. Be precise. When it comes to more official matters such as names of organizations, awards or supervisors, you will need to include the exact and entire proper name with absolute correctness. If you cannot remember the proper title of an organization or a person, and you cannot find this information on the Web, make a call and get the information directly.

8. Make sure the essay is well written, grammatically correct and employs sentence variation. This counts as part of the assessment of your essay.

9. Write in your own voice. We are all spectacularly unique individuals. Your voice is unique. Find it and work it!

Get some more tips for making your college essay stand out.

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Dr. Amy Morgenstern, Blue Stars Admissions Consulting, is a former university professor and administrator. She holds a Ph.D. in philosophy from University of Memphis and an M.F.A. in contemporary art from San Francisco Art Institute.